I struggle with this sometimes too. I think a lot of the guilt I feel about certain things would be gone if I made a decision. But then I think about how I would really like to be, and I just can't see the church not in my life. Right now I see myself going either way...and it scares me! But that's just me. I miss you Betty.
A good confession, that I have thought about at times too. I am curious, is it a lack of testimony, "I don't really believe it", or a growing apathy to the commandments "I believe it, but don't really feel like living it anymore"? for me it's usually the latter. Despite my testimony, and true belief in the gospel, sometimes I just don't want to do the little things.
@sam I miss you too! @caitlin it is a lot of things that I would rather not post in a comment, but I would be happy to email you- and if you want to read it will!
It's a bit of a downward spiral for me. I'm so tired of going against the current that the littlest things take energy that I rarely have, but then I miss out on the spiritual experiences that come from things like regular scripture study and wonder why I'm Mormon if I'm only going to one hour of church a week... On the other hand, I've been wanting to read scriptures lately where before in my life I could only motivate myself to read out of an anxiety-inducing feeling of inadequacy. I'm kind of stoked about that.
@bob: that is pretty awesome. the only time i ever felt like that was last spring. it was incredible. and those experiences help me know i will always be lds and that "it's" true.
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I struggle with this sometimes too. I think a lot of the guilt I feel about certain things would be gone if I made a decision. But then I think about how I would really like to be, and I just can't see the church not in my life. Right now I see myself going either way...and it scares me! But that's just me. I miss you Betty.
A good confession, that I have thought about at times too. I am curious, is it a lack of testimony, "I don't really believe it", or a growing apathy to the commandments "I believe it, but don't really feel like living it anymore"? for me it's usually the latter. Despite my testimony, and true belief in the gospel, sometimes I just don't want to do the little things.
@sam I miss you too!
@caitlin it is a lot of things that I would rather not post in a comment, but I would be happy to email you- and if you want to read it will!
It's a bit of a downward spiral for me. I'm so tired of going against the current that the littlest things take energy that I rarely have, but then I miss out on the spiritual experiences that come from things like regular scripture study and wonder why I'm Mormon if I'm only going to one hour of church a week... On the other hand, I've been wanting to read scriptures lately where before in my life I could only motivate myself to read out of an anxiety-inducing feeling of inadequacy. I'm kind of stoked about that.
@betty: I would love to hear it
@betty: i would too <3
@bob: that is pretty awesome. the only time i ever felt like that was last spring. it was incredible. and those experiences help me know i will always be lds and that "it's" true.
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